putting the 'b' in subtle...

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

 
Emode's Original Inkblot Test
Carrie, your unconscious mind is driven most by Sexuality

What this means is that when your unconscious mind sees an opportunity to remind you of your sexual desires, it takes full advantage of it. Because of this, things that have very little sexual content or that seem sexually neutral to others, may register as sexually charged to you, at least on an unconscious level.

Your unconscious mind recognizes the value of sexuality. The reason it may do so, is because of a deep-rooted fear of the opposite — living a life that is numb to sexual desire or is turned cold by it. You unconscious mind may be trying to avoid this sexual dullness, and so it reacts by swinging to the opposite extreme, strong sexual desire. By sending you these sexual messages on a regular basis, your unconscious makes sure you don't forget about sex.

If you view your sexual desire with a positive attitude, you can welcome the vitality and strength sexual thoughts can bring into your life. This would allow you to honor the drive your unconscious has chosen to be an important focus for you. It is a message that you are very much alive, and have a great deal of passion to bring to life.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Sexuality, there is much more to who you are at your core.


Well, well, well...goodness sakes!!
Carrie 4:56 PM

Thursday, March 27, 2003

 

Karl Urban: you like them tall, dark, sexy and fun.


Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
brought to you by Quizilla


Orlando Bloom: you like them dead sexy, with an
orgasmic accent and looks. *drool*


Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
brought to you by Quizilla

Seems I like 'em all Middle-Earthy.

Carrie 5:28 PM

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

 
Sigh...I could be lounging on a nice, white, sandy beach in Cancun right now. But no, I had to be all responsible and say to my boss, "Oh no, that's okay, thanks for the offer, but to tell the truth, what I could really use is just a few days off at home to work on my ever growing list of 'Things to Do' ." What's up with that?!

But thankfully, work is so much better this week. Even the end of last week, things really slowed down. There are about 6 or 7 of us up here and, to be honest, we've gotten a bit bored. Not that we have nothing to do, mind you, just that we're not grasping for 5 solid minutes to actually have a clear thought before the phone rings again! I must admit, I am thoroughly enjoying this quiet. Look, I'm writing while at work!

I have, however, been designated Customer Service again this year, so I've been answering more letters. I think I've just really gone through a shift in my patience this year though, which, I guess, could be seen as a good thing since I'm not letting things stress me out as much. All in all, this season seems to have gone a lot quicker and has been a lot less aggravating than last year.

However, topping that list of 'To Do' is to find a new job, post haste! This shindig is officially up the beginning of May and, though the housing situation seems to be taken care of, the financial situation is quickly dwindling, which, of course, would seriously affect the housing situation. So, yeah, homeless and broke. I must avoid this outcome!

I hate that so many things have to rely on money. To be totally honest, what I really want to do right now is go off and travel again. I always want to, it's like I have to, the way I feel it. And yet, having no $ is a serious hindrance to this plan. Yet, I hate pushing it further and further off. Why is it that dreams have to suffer simply because the $ isn't there? Doesn't seem right to me.

Ah well, I'll sit back with the light rain and the open windows and listen to my David therapy, maybe something will happen.
Carrie 4:55 PM

Thursday, March 20, 2003

 
Happy Spring everyone! Absolutely loving these gorgeous days! Yeah, I was going to say something else, but I completely forget now. Ah well.
Carrie 11:16 PM

Monday, March 03, 2003

 
Wow, there are some amazingly rude and horrible people in this world. I know I said it last year, but I'm just so dumbfounded sometimes that I have to say it again - working in this job has introduced me to a class of people, and behaviors, that I never even knew before. Unbelievable!

I read a letter at work today that the crew from a flight wrote in about the passengers on the flight. This stuff was shocking, absolutely insane. The way these kids yelled and screamed and cursed at this crew. The things they said, the disrespectful way they treated them, it was like it was all make-believe. I mean, when college kids have to be lead off the plane in handcuffs, it's pretty sad. I saw a bit of this when I went on a trip last year. These were high school kids and the way they treated the staff with absolutely no respect, left horrendous messes for others to clean, and, this is what pisses me off the most, have the attitude that they are entitled to act like this, that this is perfectly normal and acceptable behavior, just blows me away, blows me away!

I just think about where, when, and by whom I was raised and how thankful I am for that. Acting in these ways would NEVER even enter my mind!
Carrie 11:57 PM

Saturday, February 08, 2003

 
It's really weird, but it seems I have become somewhat of a country music fan. I know! Okay, not full-blown country here, there are still some of the typically country songs I just have to turn off (and if anything you're listening to suddenly turns into the line, "...the bus driver never saw the stop sign..." for the love of all things good, TURN IT OFF!!), but there are a lot of country songs I really quite like now. When we moved into our place a little over a year ago, I plugged in the clock radio, tuned it to the first station that came in clearly, and left it there. It was the country station and this is the result - I've burned 2 full CD's, and these are 80 minute CD's here people! But listen to Keith Urban's "Somebody like You" and tell me that isn't one damn fine catchy tune!

Carrie 12:18 AM

Monday, February 03, 2003

 
I had an absolutely fabulous time last night - I went to see David Gray! Love, love, love David Gray. And we were right up front, second row, so I had a great view. I know not many people over here know his songs, but I definitely recommend them. Go...buy...listen...love! Could close my eyes and listen to his lyrics over and over and over...opening band, Carbon Leaf, was pretty good too. Rootsy, folksy rock with some Celtic thrown in, but you know, add a little Celtic kick to most things and I'm in! So, yay, I'd been looking forward to seeing him, especially since, as a Brit, he's not over here all that often. So worth the wait; if he wasn't heading off to the west coast, I'd be at another show!

Alas...hey, I've been gone from here a while. Partly not too much to say, partly that I can't use the computer at work as they watch us like hawks, partly that my computer here is from, like, 1910, and moves as slow as molasses and I just have no patience for it, and yes, partly just lazy.

Scotland at New Year's was, of course, incredible. Though certain aspects of the trip were less than stellar, it felt so good just to be back. The streets I used to walk everyday, everything looked so familiar, and yet different because it's been going along there for the past two years just as I've been going along here. So by common sense, things were different, but it also kind of felt like I was in the right place again. The New Year's celebrations - the Torchlight Procession, Night Afore Fiesta, NY's Eve Street Party, all the cool Celtic bands, all the stunning fireworks - were just such an experience! And the Highlands! I always love it up there, and covered in snow, it was just gorgeous. I usually like to wander off by myself because just being in that environment, sitting quietly and just taking it in, affects me so much sometimes. Plus, if people don't feel it the same way you do, it's best to break away and let it hit you however it does. I know I say it all the time, but I just love Scotland. I probably couldn't explain if you asked, but to be as corny as possible, it's just something I feel when I'm there. However, I am futher convinced the Australians have set out to take over Scotland - they are everywhere.

Okay, okay, enough. I know no one really cares for this nonsense! Let's see, what else? I am now looking for a new job. Yay!!! Ugh!! This whole process is just so undesirable, but I know I've had enough of my present place. It is time to move on...so time. So, any suggestions??!! (Anyone with connections to the Travel Channel or a travel magazine, publisher, etc., please feel free to respond.)

Okay, 'night now.
Carrie 11:48 PM

Thursday, December 12, 2002

 
Gutted by fire and condemned to demolition, 369 the Cowgate is now just an empty smouldering shell in Edinburgh’s Old Town. It’s an ignominious end for the world famous centre for alternative comedy better known as the Gilded Balloon.

That's from a Scottish newspaper report. I found out about this today, though it happened this past weekend. When I went to Scotland after graduation, I worked at the Gilded Balloon. Yeah, it is world famous. Besides year round events and performances, it's one of the 3 major venues for the world famous Fringe Festival. And it lost everything; all records, memorabilia, contacts - everything. I spent the summer of 2000 constantly in this area. Take a look at this picture. I walked down this street everyday, the office of the organization I went through is right on the left, near the top of the hill by that red car. See the black doorway to the left of the fire truck, under the black sign - that's the front door where I worked.

One of the worst fires in Edinburgh's history destroyed part of the historic Old Town this past weekend. Pretty much all of the buildings affected will most likely be torn down. For anyone who's been to Edinburgh, you'll know how incredible and unique the Old Town is, and how it is full of cobbled alleyways, medieval courtyards, closes and narrow streets. It's part of what makes it such a great city, one of my favorites. Many of them are medieval buildings and there's hundreds of years of history there. Part of the University of Edinburgh has had buildings either damaged or lost, I can't remember, but has lost research. Apparently, none of the buildings on the World Heritage Site List were affected, though it came close.

For most people over here, it might not mean much, just another report of damage in a foreign city. What a shame, we'll think. For me though, Edinburgh means quite a bit. For all its ups and downs, I wouldn't trade my time living and working there at all. After a while there, I could walk down the street, not as a tourist, but as an inhabitant of the city, and I remember one time, just looking around during the festival and thinking, "this is my Edinburgh, and I love it." So, with the loss of the place where I worked, it's like a piece of my whole work abroad experience has been touched.

I'll be back in Edinburgh in just 2 weeks. I was planning to go back in the Gilded Balloon and take a look around again. I still will, only this time, I guess I'll just go as far as the blocked off areas allow and take a look at what's left.

It's really sad.

Carrie 12:51 AM

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

 
Only in my workplace would you find a large paper bag full of condoms available on the kitchen counter, and no idea who put them there. Honestly. Well, at least they share.
Carrie 6:36 PM

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

 
I went home this weekend, up to Pennsylvania. I went to see my house for the last time. It was sold, and my family is moving out. By this Friday. We've lived there for 14-15 years. It was brand new when we moved in, we picked the colors and the design. And I just spent the weekend helping to clear it out and pack things away. I can't believe it really. It may sound silly to some, but it was my house, where my family always was. I walked around each room Sat. night and thought of stuff that happened (because I'm just like that): Laughing with my family in the kitchen, feeding my dog Thanksgiving scraps from the dining room table, wrestling with my brother through the hallway, sleepovers with friends, family Christmas Eve's with the 15 foot tree, kissing my boyfriend goodnight at the bottom of the stairs, the list goes on and on. I was like, 11, when we moved in, so it's really the house I grew up in. Everything holds some sort of memory.

And then I feel like I'm not doing enough, like I should have called out of work and stayed all week to help more. I don't think it's quite sunk in yet, that I'll never enter that house again. At the end of this week, it'll be someone else's and I admit, I cried when I drove away. The sight of my mom, sister and brother standing in the doorway just looked so sad. For goodness sakes, the sight of a pair of socks made me cry yesterday. An email made me cry today. Things just are all so...not right. Yes, it's vague, I know, but the best I can do. I don't care how corny or overly dramatic it sounds, I just feel lost, in everything. It's not just the move either. I can't remember when I last felt so uncertain about things, and well, scared.
Carrie 12:19 AM